Married To The Military

Every girl dreams of their wedding day.  Every detail has been meticulously planned out since before they outgrew the tea party table. From the cake to the dress we all envision our dream day.  But one detail often over looked is the details of the actual marriage.  Sure the day in and of itself is truly an emotional & spiritual time when two people have decided to join their lives together as one, but often there is not much day dreaming of the actual marriage.

When I married my husband we decided to have a very small and intimate wedding that was literally planned in about a month.  While some people may think I was crazy to plan and follow through with a wedding within one month of his proposal, I'm sure most MilSos understand that marrying a military member means no ordinary wedding; or marriage at that. While the military does not define who my husband is to me it does define our lives. We have no say in what city (or country) we may end up in next or even if we are fortunate enough to make that move together, we have no control on whether or not he will deploy (that's right he may miss the holidays or the birth of our first child) and it also dictates the type of treatment we as spouses receive.  Now I am not referring to wearing my husband's rank or being saluted as I pass through the gate simply because I am an Army wife-no!

I'm referring to the disadvantage military spouses receive in their professional and educational endeavors. Military spouses are often discriminated against simply because they are associated with the military in their professional endeavors.  Between the uncertainty of moves, looming deployments, and actively playing the role of a single parent- all of these responsibilities tend to throw a red flag to employers who are hesitant to invest in a well qualified applicant simply to have them resign at any time.

But how is that fair? Some may argue that this is what we signed up for. It's the military life get used to it. But why should we sit back and take that? Isn't it time we challenged our corporate system to think outside the box.  Sure you could be investing time in a candidate they may have to relocate at a moment's notice but the skills and attributes they can contribute to the company are well worth the risk. Military spouses hold a very special set of skills that not many have the blessed opportunity of knowing the value of.  We are strong, independent, and fierce. We are infamous for holding the family unit together even when Uncle Sam decides to change our plans.

I'll never regret my choice to marry my husband, my best friend. While the wedding was the most amazing day of my life, my marriage is the most influential part of my desire to succeed professionally.  My marriage inspires me to continue pressing onward for military spouse equality in the workforce even when Uncle Sam decides to make this union of two into a holy trinity.